Posted: 7/10/02

We can learn a lot from kids

People are always talking about mentors, leaders and the like.

And usually, when we talk about those who have influenced us, we talk about grey haired old men who are long past their prime.

I know, because Iíve done it.

I recently was asked to name my mentor and without thinking much, gave credit for my success (?) to a former college professor, adviser and friend.

We all do it, itís automatic and expected to think of the oldest smart person we know and call them a mentor.

Maybe weíre wrong.

As an aunt, I spend a lot of my time with tykes in the five and younger set.

Just about every week, I spend at least a day doing some sort of kid-related activity whether it be braving the rides at amusement parks, swimming, going to festivals, going on pint-size adventures or just hanging out.

We have some pretty good times, me and the kids.

When I am with these kids I can let go of all pretension and adult expectations.

Kidsólacking sophistication, education and years of experienceóhave it all figured out.

They know the value of love and they show it with laughter, smiles and hugs.

More than anything, they know the value of making people laugh.

They know this value so much they often take to using their active imagination to make up jokes. Theyíre usually not too funny.

ìWhy did the eyeball blink too many times?Because he had a whole bunch of sand in his eye!î

So the joke is dumbóbut it is silly, too. Adults rarely take time to be silly because of the chance at looking stupid.

As we become adults, wussyness precedes risk taking.

Kids also use humor to handle problems. They know how to handle stress.

Sure they have stressóthey have to rely on and trust others for their every need, other kids steal their toys, they wet their beds and canít reach anythingóbut they donít get all a twitter over problems.

They know what few adults permit themselves to realize:

Nothing solves a stressful situation better than a good grunt and a holler.

They have the basics down pat, too.

They are social creatures and make friends quickly. When choosing these friends they are never racist, nor do they discriminate. Though they do ask a lot of questions about what is different they do it with a full heart.

When in a bind, kids ask for helpóloudly and often.

We never ask for help for fear of appearing weak. We worry about appearances way too much.

The mindset of kids results in a pretty healthy outlook on life.

I have been stressing about a certain upcoming birthday where the number marks the beginning of a decade.

But my 5-year-old nephew isnít worried.

ì30 is young, Jessica. Youíre not old until youíre 50, then youíre old,î he said.

I got a kick out of that quote and, I suppose, who wouldnít?

We have a lot to learn from the kids in our lives. The shame is we usually donít listen.

We tell them to be quiet while adults are speaking. We tell them what to think. We tell them who to look up to.

We tell kids a lot of thingsóthings we really have no business telling them.

We would be a lot better off if we, as adults, shut up for once and started bending our knees and opening our minds.

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