Posted: 10/1/03

Lost and found: my pledge to America

By Laura Jacob

I knew the tears would come. I didnít want them to; I was trying so hard not to cry. But still, I knew the tears would come.

He had worked so hard for it. Though he had always wanted to join, I think he had learned that the Army would not take just anyone. I thought back to the fact that this seemingly impossible journey really began in elementary school.

As a child, he had ADD and several learning disabilities that may have discouraged a lesser person. He had always had a hard time taking tests. They had to read to him, the Army test was just like any otheróexcept the material was tougher and it couldnít be read to him.

It had taken me until then to realize just how badly he wanted this.

I am so angry with him, I think to myself. How could he do this to me, going away for so long? He was supposed to stay here with me, for me to look up to, to be there for me. Iíll never forgive him.

The rumble of the recruiterís black SUV breaks me out of my daydream. This vehicle that had always seemed so innocent now came like a hearse, stopping only to take my brother away for what would seem like an eternity.

I sit alone on the couch, simply staring out the window at the recruiter walking briskly up the driveway. The tension and solemnness in the air of the normally cozy and relaxed living room can be cut with a knife.

We are all sad, but my mom is the only one emotional enough to show itóor so I think. I feel a streak of wetness on my cheekÖtears. You cannot cry! This cannot be happening!

ìWhat time does your plane leave?î asks Dad.

By this time the recruiter is in the house, and he doesnít hesitate to answer for Derek.

ìSoon enough. We have to get going,î he said.

ìAre you sure you have everything?î

ìI got it, Dad.î

Mom falls into his arms for a hug. ìIím going to miss you, Derek.î

ìIíll miss you too, Mom.î

ìI love you,î she says as she reluctantly pulls away, ìbe safe.î

I realize now that it is my turn to say something. ìI love you, De.î

ìI love you too, Lu. Write me lots of letters.î

By now I am sobbing, and it is hard to speak at all. ìI promise.î

Now even Dadís lip is quivering. In fact, the only person not crying is the recruiter. I have to wonder how he can take so many young men and women from their families and not cry.

We all stand like mindless statues, staring at the open door with mixed emotions, wishing him the best of luck yet fearing his departure.

When all goodbyes are said and well wishes given, this is the moment I have been dreading. Derek and the recruiter walk down the driveway to the SUV and I watch it turn the corner and disappear into the shadows of places I will never see.

It has been three years since that day. Derek is now an Army Airborne Ranger, stationed in Savannah, GA, with the first of the 75th Ranger Battalion.

He has recently served along with other brave men and women in Operation Iraqi Freedom and most likely will serve again.

My pride for him grows everyday. Itís like the song says, ìOnce I was lost, but now am foundÖî

Derek has found himself in his future and continues to grow and expand his never-ending horizons.

I have forgiven him, because even though he canít be physically here for me, he is able to be there for his country and protect us all in better ways.

My pledge to America canít be shown in material things. It is that I gave my brother to the United States Army and to all Americans. I encourage everyone to face up to the challenge and make their own pledge to America.

A pledge should be about not being selfish, and sharing what we have with everyone. I am sending this message to all those who will listen, all those who care, and all those who take our freedom for granted.

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