By Sami Grimes
I am one to pride myself on writing about issues that most teenagers consider irrelevant to their every day lives.
I’ve covered the political characteristics of under-developed nations, the criminal manipulations of multi-million dollar corporations, the importance of culture in our society—all of which have given me the opportunity to voice my opinions while presenting information along with them.
Something, however, has been floating around in the back of my mind (which also happens to be the same place I store all the lyrics from “The Sound of Music”).
The idea for this piece sparked from an incident involving one of my best friends, as well as a very attractive young man, and myself. It is this incident that I am going to share in hopes of illustrating a point.
My friend and I were enjoying lunch at a favorite spot of ours, when this college-age man emerged from inside the building to pull weeds from the front garden.
I attempted to meet his eyes, and when that proved unsuccessful, I smiled toward him. Nothing was working!
When we were ready to leave, I said something incredibly stupid to the effect of “enjoy your work.”
It was then that the world slowed down just enough to watch me make a fool of myself. See, I was so fixated upon the man that I ran directly into my friend, pushing her off the curb and into traffic. Luckily, the only injury my friend sustained was the utter embarrassment that she was associated with me.
It was after that, while I was sitting quietly back at my desk at work, that I realized—I am horrible at flirting!
The dictionary defines flirting as “behaving or acting amorously without serious intent.”
I wouldn’t say that I had no intent; therefore I set out on locating a definition that would be more appropriate for my situation.
During my quest for knowledge, I found out that the word flirt actually comes from the French word fleurter.
Fleurter means to spread flowers. So that is what I need to do—learn to spread flowers? I always thought I had some flower-spreading skills.
However, as I look back now to other instances, that is truly not the case. For example, I once spent five minutes repeating “So, how are you?” to a gorgeous dark-haired-guitar-playing acquaintance of mine from school.
Obviously, I have no such skills.
So, in order to gain these skills, I thought I might as well do some nonchalant research on the subject. I spent an entire sleepover discussing the importance of flirting in everyone’s lives.
I’ve deducted that we begin our adolescence practicing flirting.
Girl sees boy.
Girl smiles.
Boy smiles.
Boy asks girl to school dance.
This brings our youngsters eventually to an infantile relationship. That relationship results in important lessons in social behavior for both. These lessons later aid in the development of adult relationships further on down the line. No romantic adult relationship would exist without one person initially flirting to intrigue the other’s interest. Therefore, in retrospect, it all comes back to flirting.
Well, isn’t that just lovely news? If only my flirtation skills were as sharp as my sarcasm, perhaps I’d have less of an issue to deal with. However, it was then, after I had concluded that I would wander the world alone, that my mind had an epiphany - and an important one at that.
What if the best definition of flirtation isn’t one of a romantic nature? What if flirting is just our natural way to express interest in other people?
Small bits of conversation, flashing a quick smile, or even helping someone pick up oranges that fell from the supermarket pyramid—all can be tools in healthy flirtation, and learning how to use these tools properly will give us the results in any given situation we want.
Whether it is in high school, work relations, or just adulthood in general, flirting can be a gateway to many positive outcomes. It is a prelude to friendship, romantic involvement, or just simply a way to brighten someone’s day with your own cheerfulness.
It is the latter part of that definition that I agree with most, because I am confident that I do not have a problem with socializing. I just need more practice to get the results I want.
But just to be safe, try to watch out for me on the sidewalk from now on.
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