Commentary; Posted: 5/12/04

Teens have compassion, a mother knows

Susan Morley
Guest Columnist

This is a story of compassion and caring and extraordinary kindness shown to me by a group of Forest Lake teenagers over the last three years. But it has to start with one incredibly devastating sad event. On April 26, 2001 my 8th grade son Jesse Gochez died in a car accident.

On the very night of his death his friends erected a sign that read ìWE MISS YOU JESSEî and formed two wooden crosses at the scene of the accident, walking distance from our home.

They came up to me shyly at Jesseís wake and hugged me and cried with me. They filled the church. A school bus took them to the cemetery. But I was in a fog then. I knew they were there, but I guess I wasnít.

Then they dedicated their choir concert to him. The 8th grade choir sang ìAngelî by Sarah McLaughlin especially for him. When it was done every 8th grader in the auditorium came and hugged me. I was so honored and comforted.

Then they pitched in, collected money and bought a tree, to be planted on the last day of school in front of Century Jr. High. I think the whole 8th grade and then some attended the dedication before school started. We said a prayer together, cried together, remembered Jesse together.

But what has touched me the most, what I have found to be so wonderful, is that a group of Jesseís friends, about 20 kids in all, have met me at the tree on each of the three anniversaries of his death. The last one was only a week ago.

They were there. To hug me. To tell me what a beautiful son I had. To tell me that if I ever, ever needed anything they were there for me ó always.

Remember these are 11th graders ó teenagers.ÝÝ Mostly boys, and some girls. These teenagers were there for me when they were 14, again at 15, again on a Saturday morning at 9:30 at 16, and last week in the bitter wind at age 17.

They all assured me that they would always be there for me, and you know what, I believe them. These teenagers have hugged me, cried with me, prayed with me, shared their pain and my pain for three years in a row now.

They didnít have to. No one forced them. Theyíre not even in the same school anymore. I donít doubt for a minute that they will be there for me next year and any year I need them.

With all the negative press about teenagers, especially teenage boys, I feel itís incredibly important for our community to know that we have a group of 17/18 year olds that we can and should all be proud of. A group that has gone out of their way to comfort a grieving mother.

Most of them didnít even know me until my son Jesse died. And yet they reached out to me to comfort me. They werenít afraid of the tears or the pain. I am proud to know they are the part of the future of this country.

They have not lost faith in God ó Iíve seen it. They have not lost faith in their parents ó Iíve felt it. They have not lost faith in their future ó Iíve heard it. We should all be proud.

And to my sonís friends ó all my gratitude, eternally.

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