Abby Nadeau
Community Editor

Having a baby is a life changing experience. It is an event that will alter the life of a woman forever.

The daunting task could be overwhelming since the woman is not only responsible for taking care of herself, but the life of a child.

For some women this experience is welcomed and is shared with a partner or family. But what happens when the woman has neither support nor desire to care for the child?

The child could be put up for adoption, aborted or even simply thrown into a garbage can.

However, pregnant teens and women now have another option.

Jan Mechtel, a St. Paul native, has opened a home in Forest Lake for pregnant teens and mothers to have the support they need to raise a child.

The House of Joy is designed to help educate soon-to-be or recently new moms become capable of caring for themselves and a child.

ìAll agencies offer counseling,î Mechtel said, ìbut there arenít too many places where pregnant women can stay. I wanted to provide a place where women can learn the skills they need to take care of themselves and their child.î

Birthing Doula

Mechtel, a teen mother herself, has spent most of her life working with pregnant women in St. Paul womenís shelters and hospitals, and is a certified birthing Doula.

A Doula is person who works with pregnant women to evaluate all the options of birth, among others.

In Mechtelís brochure about her services she explains that she ìunderstands the physiology of birth and the emotional needs of a woman in labor. Assists the woman and her partner in the preparing for and carrying out their plans for the birth. Assists the new mother with starting to breast feed and newborn massage.î

Mechtel also describes that she ìstays by the side of the laboring woman throughout her entire labor,î a task she believes is extremely important.

ìI meet a lot of uneducated mothers who didnít know all of their choices for giving birth,î Mechtel said. ìSometimes when an emergency arises the women agree with whatever the doctor wants to do, but they donít have to. They have options other than what the doctor decides. Women also donít have to stick with a doctor or a nurse they donít like.

ìAs a Doula I am with the mother the whole time. Nurses may come and go, which disrupts the rhythm of the labor, but I am totally in tune with the mother.î

Together with her Doula practices and experience in womenís shelters Mechtel saw a need to provide young mothers with more guidance.

The House of Joy

In October of 2005 Mechtel opened the House of Joy. It is a nine acre hobby farm that has a large, soon-to-be-remodeled barn, above ground pool and four bedrooms, including Mechtelís. Currently Mechtel has two of the rooms occupied.

The farm is home to two horses and two miniatures with the hope of adding goats, chickens and bunnies.

Although Mechtel would like to accept every woman that comes to her for help, she only has room for three women and has guidelines as to who comes to the house.

ìMost of the women come through social workers. Iíll get a call asking me to meet someone,î Mechtel said. ìI interview them and I find that either we click or we donít.î

Mechtel has strict guidelines the women must follow if they are going to be apart of the House.

ìThe women will have to be working on their GED or going to school,î Mechtel said. ìThe women will only be allowed visitors on Sunday. They have other things to do like reading baby or self-help books.î

Mechtel also doesnít allow smoking, drinking or drugs in her house.

ìYoung women can be very self-centered at their age,î Mechtel said. ìHowever, when they have the baby, they arenít allowed to be that way anymore.î

While some of the guidelines may be strict, Mechtel does allow the women to stay at the house until they feel they are ready, there is no time limit.

Once the women have learned the ropes to the house they can then move onto learning more about themselves. Learning To Live

Even though Mechtel can provide most of the information for having a baby, she does need help from the community when it comes to a few basic skills.

ìI am looking for sponsors, not only financially but in teaching the women,î Mechtel said. ìI want a woman to come out from the bank and show the girls how to balance a checkbook. Simple every day things that the women need to learn, but never got a chance to.î

One of Mechtelís goals for the women at the House of Joy is that each of them can leave the house feeling confident that they can care for themselves and their child.

ìI would like to have the women to have relationships with senior citizens and young children,î Mechtel said. ìI would need someone who knows how to cook or to knit. Or even someone who knows computers, car maintenance or how to garden. Anything that could enrich the lives of the women at the house.î

Getting the whole community involved in the house is also a goal for Mechtel.

ìI would like to develop some programs,î Mechtel said. ìOnce the new barn gets built there will be enough space for the 4-H club or the boys and girls scouts to come out and use the facility.î

Mechtel believes that having relationships with a number of people of different ages has benefits that could last a lifetime.

ìPeople could come out to the house and just meet the women and their babies,î Mechtel said. ìMaybe the baby could have a grandparent.î

Even though all the women might not be working at a job, Mechtel has plans to be completely self-sufficient.

ìMy Doula work will help, but I would also like to have garage and craft sales,î Mechtel said.

Another opportunity Mechtel has is a lake home in northern Minnesota. The family who rents the farm to Mechtel also has a lake home available for use.

ìThe lake home would be a great retreat place for the women,î Mechtel said. ìI would also like to offer the home to a group of people who are interested in a scrapbooking weekend, or any kind of weekend retreat.î

Creating a place where pregnant teens and mothers could come to learn more about themselves has been a dream come true for Mechtel.

ìIíve been dreaming of a home where they [women] are a part of a home,î Mechtel said. ìI want to empower women and let them know that they have a choice.î

Mechtel will be having an open house Sunday, Feb. 19 from 1 to 5 p.m. where people can come out to the house, meet the women and see the farm.

Mechtel will also be raffling off a weekend at the lake home.

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Forest Lake Times
P.O. Box 218
880 SW 15 St.
Forest Lake, MN 55025
651-464-4601
Fax 651-464-4605