Abby Nadeau
Staff Writer

When Jennifer Silvera, wife of fallen Lino Lakes officer Shawn Silvera, went to empty her husbands desk she found a note written in Spanish.

The note said that ìBad things wonít happen if good things come from it.î

Although she had never seen the note or heard Shawn talk about it, the note resonated with Jennifer.

While keeping that saying in mind, Jennifer started to think of ways to honor Shawn, and then the motto ìBe Here Nowî came to mind.

ìIt was his motto,î Jennifer said. ìIt is a great message that tells people not to look at the past story, but to look into the future and see what could be.î

Based on the idea to ìbe here nowî Jennifer, along with several friends and family, have started the Shawn Silvera Foundation.

Shawn was killed in the line of duty during a high speed chase on September 6, 2005. Shawn was placing stop sticks on Interstate 35 when a fleeing suspect struck Shawn.

The Foundation

With the help from friends and family, Jennifer is helping to design a foundation that encompasses Shawnís passions, personal goals and ideas.

Committee members on the Foundation are working with several different organizations that represent Shawnís talents.

The goal would be to provide different organizations people can donate to, to honor Shawn.

ìWe want to honor his life, but also help someone else,î Jennifer said.

While it is still a work in progress, the committee has picked out the Honduras Water project, with donations going toward bringing clean water to thousands of people in remote villages, and a Minnesota Youth Symphony scholarship, with the idea of providing music lessons to under privileged children.

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Two other organizations, such as a marriage enrichment, a domestic child abuse prevention organization or D.A.R.E., will be picked to represent other aspects of Shawnís passions.

ìWe want to give back to the community for the generosity theyíve given our family,î Jennifer said. ìWe want them to decide what need is closest to them.î

Shawnís Memorial

As time passed, several of Shawn and Jenniferís friends and family have worked to find ways to memorialize Shawn.

One project has led Jennifer to the state capitol on several occasions.

At the end of April Minnesota State Senate unanimously approved, 61-0, the Shawn Silvera Memorial Highway.

The memorial highway will run from where Shawn worked, in Lino Lakes, to where he lived in Forest Lake all along Interstate 35.

A blue sign will sit on the side of the road where the accident happened.

ìThe sign will have an officer on bended knee and Shawnís ëend of watchí date, with all his information,î Jennifer said. ìThe whole idea came from one of Shawnís co-workers, Kay Stansberry.î

Once the Senate approved the highway it moved onto the House.

On May 11, the House passed the bill, making the possibility of the Shawn Silvera Memorial Highway a reality.

State Representative Ray Vandeveer, who authored the bill, said, ìWe are indebted to Shawn Silvera for his heroic service to our community, and we want to convey our great appreciation and admiration to his family.î

Jennifer also attended a memorial service in Washington D.C. on May 11.

ìOver 25 family, friends, and law enforcement members attened the national conference that honored Shawn in a candlelight ceremony,î Jennifer said. ìAbout 150 fallen officersí names will be put on a wall in their memory.î

On May 15, Jennifer listened as President George W. Bush spoke on National Police Peace Officerís Day, for National Police Week.

Shawn Silvera wristbands, much like the Lance Armstrong ìLive Strongî wristbands, are also being sold throughout the community.

Each wristband is $1 and all the proceeds go toward the Law Enforcement Memorial Association (LEMA).

ìSo far weíve sold $2500,î Jennifer said. ìWe also have plans to give some away to a few students.î

As her eyes filled with tears Jennifer recalled a story she was told by a friend about what a special group of students did during Shawnís funeral.

ìThere were a group of kids who stood in the rain, during Shawnís funeral, who stood with their hands on their hearts saying the pledge of allegiance as Shawn was riding by,î Jennifer said, smiling through the tears.

Daily Living

Although Jennifer has focused a lot of her time on the foundation and ways to memorialize Shawn, life is not getting any easier.

In fact, Jennifer would say itís getting harder by the day.

While the children, Jordan, 2, and Madelynn, 1, are getting older Jennifer said that they are becoming more verbal.

ìIíve always explained to Jordan where daddy was by saying heís up in heaven,î Jennifer said. ìBut as he is getting older he is starting to think about what I say. The other day he told me to tell dad to come back down.î

In what is left of her spare time, after raising two children and helping out with the foundation, Jennifer finds time to write.

Jennifer has an online blog that she writes what is on her mind that day, it isnít always about Shawn, but in one way or another, everything she writes relates back to him or his death.

ìWriting has become very therapeutic for me,î Jennifer said. ìI get e-mails from people all over the place. I got an e-mail from a man that said on average it takes a person 1000 days to recover from the loss of a loved one. All I could think about was that I was on day 218.î

The ups and downs of grieving are played out in Jenniferís writings.

Some days she is hopeful and thanking God for the years she was able to know Shawn. Other days she searches for a reason for his death and the situation she has been forced into.

She writes: ìI have entered a world beyond reason. I stood in my kitchen last night sobbing for a good, solid 30 minutes. I think it was more like gasping for air in between the flow of tears. Repeatedly I cried, ëWhy you, Shawn. Why you? Why you? Why you?í While staring at his handsome photo on our fridge.

ìDoes the mind play tricks or does it save intense interludes of grief for isolated moments when one can endure its forceful truth? Shawn is gone. This is true. Even when everything inside of me claims this fact is beyond reason. How can he be here one day and not the next? How? Why? Since I cannot know, I will place a bet on trust. Trust and faith seem like a reasonable pair.î

A Balancing Act

Trying to find a balance between public and private, and activity and silence, has been one large obstacle in Jenniferís grieving process.

ìI can get stuck or I can get involved,î she said. ìWhen I close the door it doesnít get less painful, it doesnít get any easier for me. Instead I have to find a balance. A balance between involving me and the kids with public events honoring Shawn, and when we just need time for ourselves.

ìIím doing what is right for me and the kids. Somebody might take a different path and that might be right for them, but this is right for us.î

Future Plans

As the year moves on Jennifer keeps life in perspective and doesnít look too far into the future.

ìI tell myself to get through year one,î Jennifer said. ìI know that there wonít be any big revelation after the first year without Shawn. I know that. I just hope that year two will bring more opportunities and a whole new process.î

On the one year anniversary of Shawnís death the foundation committee is planning several different events that will honor Shawn.

Among them will be a 5K run/walk with proceeds going toward LEMA and the Lino Lakes Police department association.

Jennifer also stated that there will be a celebration of Shawnís life with dinner, entertainment and a silent auction.

The details of the projects will be finalized as the day gets closer.

For more information or questions about the Shawn Silvera Foundation visit www.shawnsilvera.org or call Officer Dale Hager of Lino Lakes Police Department at 651-982-2349 ext.1.

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