Joe Nathan
Education Columnist

How about some help for parents of teenagers? Within the next year, Minnesota could build on the success of the widely, and wildly popular Early Childhood Family Education program.

ECFE brings together parents of young children to discuss with an expert what they are learning, and ways to deal with challenges they face.

We could try the same kind of thing for parents of teenagers.

Does this sound familiar? ìGone may be the days when your sweet, baby-faced little boy or girl worshipped the ground you walked on and never wanted you to leave their sight.

Now it may seem like your teenager loathes you and canít wait to get away from you.î

Thatís what Emily Battaglia wrote recently on the Lifescript Web site, www.lifescript.com.

As a parent whose three youngsters are now in their 20s, I certainly experienced days like the one described above.

When I did a Google search for ìParents of teenagers,î there were 7.9 million citations! Sounds like a hot topic! While there are valuable things on the Internet, some of the best advice I received came from other parents.

For example, our family noticed that a neighbor had a swimming pool, and that their teenagers often brought friends over to swim and relax by the pool.

The family provided soft drinks and other refreshments. The kids generally were well behaved, and in the back yard constantly.

One day we asked our neighbor, ìDoes it ever bother you to have so many teenagers in your backyard?î

ìNot at all,î he replied,

ìThatís just where I want them. I can keep an eye on whatís going on. And if they are here, I know they are not somewhere else, perhaps getting in trouble.î

My wife and I remembered that.

When our two older (twins) became teenagers, we purchased a pool table for the basement and stocked a refrigerator down there with plenty of pop.

The kids came constantly, to play pool, watch TV, and generally ìhang out.î

The philosophy, borrowed from our neighbor, worked very well.

Our youngsters were not perfect. They had scrapes from time to time.

But overall, they worked hard, did well in school, were active in extra-curricular activities, and made it through tough teenage years without any major problems.

But is it enough to rely on the advice you might get from a neighbor?

I donít think so.

Thousands of Minnesota parents participate in the ECFE program, which began with six pilot programs in 1974.

According to information on the Minnesota Department of Education Web site, ECFE has expanded to 338 of Minnesotaís 343 school districts. Sounds like something LOTS of people want.

We could try something similar for parents of teenagers. Perhaps we begin with several pilot programs, as Minnesota did with ECFE.

If folks are interested in this, Iíd like to hear from you.

The legislature opens in January. Please write (jnathan@umn.edu) if you think this is something they should consider.

Joe Nathan, a former public school teacher and administrator, directs the Center for School Change, Humphrey Institute, University of Minnesota jnathan@hhh.umn.edu.

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