Commentary; Posted: 9/20/06
Family table talk is important
Rev. John C. Blackford,
Religion Columnist
Do you have the feeling you are losing your family connections?
Realizing that family table talk is vital for fellowship and understanding in the home, nearly 5500 Carver County people took part in ìEat, Talk, Connect,î one of Minnesotaís first county wide programs to strengthen families by having them eat three meals together weekly for three months.
The program is based on numerous studies showing that the more meals a family shares together, the less likely their children are to drink, smoke, use drugs, or be depressed.
They are more likely to get good grades and have a healthy sense of well-being.
Local businesses, community groups, non-profits, governmental units, churches and citizens joined together to sponsor the program, because the health of children and youth is so vital.
ìWhen this meals initiative came up, we all wanted to do it,î said Jim Jackson, who chaired the group.
The numbers indicate they have succeeded.
Nearly 4000 elementary and middle-school families took part in the first phase of the program, which ended January 31, and thousands more began to participate at Carver County workplaces and faith communities.
The guidelines are simple: turn off the TV, eat together, talk together, and keep conversations light.
Donít make it a time to focus on problems or deal with disciplinary matters.
At the beginning it may be difficult to get the family together and to get along without TV or other distractions.
Small children may present problems, yet starting early to share in this way will bring large dividends as they mature.
In this writerís home over the years family table talk has been an essential part of our lifestyle.
One of our children, with her own children and grandchildren, told me recently that family talk ìis not out of style.î
In visits to their homes we find all our family members practicing and enjoying it, and all are good conversationalists. (In family get-togethers, the conversation is animated, and it is often hard to find a place to interject oneís own thoughts).
We found it was good to let the children choose the topics of conversation frequently, and mother and dad sometimes learned a lot.
We have used quizzes, such as the Isaac Asimov Super Quiz, from our daily newspaper, to sharpen our wits and learn new facts, and the older youth especially enjoy it.
We have also used our time at the table to learn Bible verses. We keep a small box of Scripture verse cards on the table, and over the years had each family member and guest select a verse and read it.
We committed to memory many Scriptural passages, and they have been a blessing, especially in times of testing.
Long after we have forgotten the menus, and we have excellent cooks in our family, we remember the table conversations and the inspiration of the Bible selections. They are part of our memories of home.
A family practice doctor, who is a leader in the Carver County project, believes in the programís concepts so strongly that he has proposed writing prescriptions for family meals at his clinic. He and other clinic doctors have begun incorporating the programís message into wellchild visits.
Many have found that making family meals a priority simplifies other decision-making issues.
The Parent Involvement Coordinator in one of the elementary schools says, ìThe message is that itís okay not to have something scheduled every night. In fact, itís a good idea not to. Everyone knows itís good to slow down, but they lose track of that occasionally.î
The Carver County family emphasis reminds family members of their importance to one another and of the value of our families. This is a way to prevent losing family connections and strengthening ties that bind us together.
Perhaps it should be considered for our community.
Acknowledgements: The Minneapolis StarTribune, February 7, 2006.
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