Commentary; Posted: 2/14/07
Valentine’s Day and marriage
Rev. John C. Blackford,
Religion Columnist
On this day honoring love and romance questions about the health of the state of marriage are being raised.
For centuries it has been considered one of the four basic institutions of society, along with government, schools and churches. It is the oldest of the four, and considered by many to be the most important.
What is happening in and to our homes is thus vital to all of us.
Last month the New York Times published an analysis of 2005 census results, and announced that American married couples had become a minority for the first time, with 51 percent saying they were living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.
The Minneapolis StarTribune of January 16, 2007, in commenting, added that “the trend could ultimately shape a range of social and workplace policies, including the ways government and employers distribute benefits.”
According to these sources, the statistical shift is being driven by several factors.
Women are marrying later or living with unmarried partners more often and for longer periods of time. Fur-ther, women are living longer as widows, and if there is a divorce, are more likely than men to delay remarriage.
Commenting in the StarTribune on January 25, columnist Katherine Kersten wrote that the statistical conclusions of the Times article should be interpreted differently, and that “The fact is, a clear majority of American women over 20 are married.”
The 51 percent figure was reached, she points out, by including in the pool of marriage-age women more than nine million girls between 15 and 19, many still in high school.
Also, the Times report added 11 million widows and more than two million women called “married spouse absent,” whose hus-bands are temporarily away, for example, on military duty in the mideast, or even in prison.
Kersten concedes that “marriage is under pressure. But by treating widows, teenagers and soldiers’ wives identically with divorced or never-married women,” the report of women who choose the single life is exaggerated.
More troubling to Katherine Kersten than the handling of the statistics in the New York Times story was the portrayal of the single life, and divorce in particular, as liberating for women.
While some may enjoy their new status, many find divorce or single motherhood brings daily struggles.
On the other hand, married women, on average are better off financially, and after 15 years have accumulated 93 percent more net wealth than single and divorced individuals, according to one study.
Kersten believes married women enjoy happier, healthier and less violent relationships compared with women in dating or cohabiting relationships, basing her assertion on a report by family scholars by the Institute for American Values. Finally, she remarks the Times story does not reflect the feelings of the children involved.
Those living with their own married parents have better mental and physical health, higher school grades, and lower rates of delinquency and substance abuse than others.
A report from the Action Institute indicates they are more likely to graduate from college, have higher earnings and are at lower risk for divorce in their marriages.
Kersten is keenly aware that all is not well in marriage in America, but she strongly affirms that “Marriage is not on life support.”
The writer and his spouse, after almost 59 years of married life, during which there have been joys and sorrows, can strongly advocate marriage, and are thankful to God and to many who have encouraged us along the way for their prayers, example and counsel.
In his years as a pastor, the writer would tell couples coming for counseling before marriage that “marriage is not a word only, but also a ‘sentence’ – a life sentence!”
And a God-given one indeed.
Forest Lake Times
P.O. Box 218
880 SW 15 St.
Forest Lake, MN 55025
651-464-4601
Fax 651-464-4605