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| A lump of coal in your Christmas stocking? |
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| Wednesday, 19 December 2007 | |
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In many homes younger children are warned that poor behavior will result in a lump of coal in their Christmas stocking. Some of you may have lived under this threat in your childhood, and that it was a strong reminder to forsake your usual naughtiness. Yet, probably none of you awoke on any Christmas morning to such a disappointment, because your loving parents would never do such a thing.
Rev. John C. Blackford Religion Columnist In many homes younger children are warned that poor behavior will result in a lump of coal in their Christmas stocking. Some of you may have lived under this threat in your childhood, and that it was a strong reminder to forsake your usual naughtiness. Yet, probably none of you awoke on any Christmas morning to such a disappointment, because your loving parents would never do such a thing. Little children may not deserve a lump of coal, but what about teenagers and older? Is the withholding of Christmas and birthday gifts the right way to deal with their errant behavior? Should they ever find the proverbial lump in their stocking on those special occasions when gifts are appropriate? What are parents to do when a gifted child fritters way a year at an expensive college? Do they give birthday and Christmas presents, and thus apparently condone and reward these actions? Or, perhaps, the son or daughter practices careless driving habits and totals the family car; or gets in with the wrong crowd, which leads to chemical addiction and possibly trouble with the law. It is one thing to deal with the relatively small transgressions of the little ones, but quite a different matter when older children go astray. Then we wonder if holding back on gifts is the way to punish poor behavior. It helps to recall our own youthful mistakes and indiscretions, which may have driven our parents to distraction. Still, they stood behind us, even at great financial or emotional expense, until we could get our lives back on track. And they continued to give us Christmas gifts. They demonstrated that when those we love make major missteps, it is for us to help them make a new start, and not punish them by denying them our love. A mother whose capable son had greatly disappointed her, but who had shown forgiveness and compassion, wrote to a friend who had counseled her: “A lump of coal – never. When it comes to giving – whether time, money or stuff – it’s better have to always have been generous and be called a chump, than withhold and always wonder if you should have, instead, given.” A man who has a young child, as well as two children recently out of college, says, “I can’t imagine anything my kids could do that would warrant not giving them something for the holidays.” He summarizes with these words: “The whole idea of Christmas is about giving, and the lesson you’re teaching your kids by taking away presents seems to violate the spirit of Christmas. That seems counter-productive.” The heart of the Christmas story is that God gave us the great gift of his Son. His gift was to a sinful world which would eventually crucify his Son. Because of our sinfulness, God could have given us a lump of coal for our collective stockings on that first Christmas. Instead, “God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (St. John 3:16). Acknowledgment: The Minneapolis Star Tribune, December 9, 2007; The Wall Street Journal Sunday; an article by Jeff Opdyke entitled “Naughty or Nice, a Child Deserves Presents.” Social Bookmarking ...       |
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